College Days

I was moving some of our old boxes from the laundry room into the storage closet today and came across a box of my old photos. So, I sat on the kitchen floor for about an hour going thru those pictures.

Anyways, I came across this photo of the Malaysian students at SIU (Southern Illinois University at Carbondale). I think it was taken either in '93 or '94. We sent the photo to the Utusan Malaysia newspaper for the "Aidil Fitri" greeting section.

Looking at that picture, I realized that I do not remember most of the people in there except for a very few. Of course, I remember my best friend, Nida (she wouldn't forgive me if I forget her..he he he). Some of the students I remember in this picture are Anom, Kanita (my roommate), Julie, Kirah, Tina, Linda, Jijah, Jee (my other roommate), Ina (roommate), Pah, Fuad, Shahril, Azli, Zaid, Man, and Pian... The rest of them? Their face looks familiar but I can't recall their names.

I do have to say, out of all those students, the ones I still keep in touch with are Nida, Anom, and Julie....By the way, Gua, kome buat apa hari tu? You're not in the pic!!

Can you spot me in the picture? If you click on the picture, it should enlarge it and you should be able to see better....

Happy Birthday Daddy!!!

HAPPY 61ST BIRTHDAY DADDY!!! MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE....

Car Trouble

We bought a brand new silver 2007 Toyota Yaris last October from the Toyota Dealership in Scottsdale. I really love that car...has good gas mileage (34 mpg on surface streets and 40 mpg on the highway)... lots of space my head and legs. Being tall, some cars are just uncomfortable to get into much less to drive.

This past weekend, I was going to the store....Got into the car, started the engine and lo and behold, the "Maintainance Required" light stayed on. Turned off the ignition, sat in the car a few seconds than turned it back on....Damn!!! The light came back on again....Crap!!! The car is only 6 months old and there is only about 4700 miles on it....I was pissed....checked the engine oil, checked the coolant level, batteries are okay.....What could be wrong? Couldn't find anything wrong...

I called the Toyota Dealership to make an appointment for them to look at the car. Am going in at 8:00 am tomorrow. The guy said it could be something really simple like a loose wire or something really complicated. So, I told my boss that I could be in either by 9:00 am tomorrow or not at all.....

We'll see.....Good thing that Arizona has a "Lemon" Law....

I wish....ha ha ha

When I was in college (before I met Jim) I used to have the poster above in my bedroom....Before I go to sleep at night, I would look at that poster and wish that I would find someone who would fulfill those characteristics......And guess what? I never found that guy!!! I seriously doubt that there is any guy in this world who could fulfill that characteristics.

I am sure growing up, we all have dreams about our prince charming. We all want that knight in the shining armor to swoop us away on his white horse, riding into the sunset and live happily ever after.....Unfortunately, those are in fairy tales....

I had a couple of serious relationships before I met Jim and I have to say that neither one of them came even close to that prince charming I had in my dreams. I sure am glad that I didn't marry either of them coz I would have been divorced by now.....phew!!!

Though Jim might not fulfill all of that characteristics, he came pretty close. Because I love him very much, I've learned to accept the 2 characteristic flaws in that list..... I bet you are curious to know what they are, right? Well, I know I shouldn't tell you what they are coz it might hurt his feelings but I am going to tell you anyways....

Are you ready????

Here are the 2 flaws......

1. Tall - Malaysian standards he would be considered tall since he's about 5' 8" but I am taller than him at 6' 0".

2. He absolutely refuse to feed me ice cream, much less in bed!!! And, that is only because I am diabetic and ice creams are definately a no-no for me.....

Here I am with the aforementioned poster along with my stuff animals (l to r - Thumper, Bunny, Johan & Mamat). Can't remember why I named that rhino "Mamat", probably running out of names since I do have quite a few of those animals...

Jim took this picture just before I moved from my 2 bedroom apartment to the studio apartment upstairs. And guess what??? This picture is still in his wallet to this very day!!!!!!

To my Prince Charming....I love you very very much!!!

People Magazine Mail Box

For the past few years I have been subscribing to People magazine as well as Entertainment Weekly magazine. A few weeks ago (I think it was about 3 weeks ago), there was an article about Richard Hatch. For those of you who don't know who he is....He was the million dollar winner of the first "Survivor" tv show and no, he is not the actor who played Captain Apollo on the original tv show "Battlestar Galactica"...

Anyways, Richard Hatch, the "Survivor" winner is going to prison for tax evasion for about 51 months (I think that's how long it's gonna be). He claimed that he didn't claim the winnings on his tax report because CBS station (who produced the game show) was going to pay it for him. He said that during the filming of the show, he had caught some of the production crew are helping the other contestants by giving them food. I guess he went to CBS to complain and the tv station told they will pay his taxes if he keeps it quiet....What a load of bull crap!!!! Even if what he claim is true, why didn't he report his income on some of his personal appearances and speaking engagements? Was CBS suppose to pay his taxes on that too....It just shows what a snake he is....

Well, I got my People magazine last weekend and guess who had sent in a comment to their Mail Bag? Jim!!! He had wrote a comment about the article on Richard Hatch... The picture above is the front cover of the magazine and the picture below (the one with the red circle around it) is the comment that Jim wrote. Of course, Jim was being sarcastic when he said that Hatch is a nice guy!!!

I guess this issue will not be thrown into the trashcan.....he he he

p/s click on the picture to enlarge it.

Financial Controller?

That is the name on my office door... "Shirin Pergo, Financial Controller". What does Financial Controller means anyways? I guess I control the finances for the company I work for which is what my major workload is...but there are more to that title than what it means especially when you work for a small business..... Not only do I take care of the finances but I am also Human Resources, Supplier, Counselor, Janitor, Fix-it gal and all around goofer.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my job but there are times when I feel like I am no more than a maid.... You see, I work for 2 companies. One is a dental office and the other is a dental management software company. Each company have 3 owners. 2 of the owners from the dental office are also owners of the dental software company, whom were my customers when I worked at the bank. The 3rd owner of the dental office is the practising dentist there and the 3rd owner of the dental software company is the programmer. So, I actually have 4 bosses to take care of and pleased!!!

Sometimes I just have a hard time trying to please all 4 coz obviously they all have different personalities. They are great bosses and they do try to make sure that I am happy with my job but there are days when I feel like pulling my hair out....(my hair are almost all gray now and I attribute that to work...ha ha ha).

Aside from the 4 bosses, I also take care of the "welfare" of the other employees. Make sure that what they need are taken care of. Of course, no matter where you work, there is always office politics and it is my "job" to keep that at a minimal, hence the HR, Counselor, Peacemaker position....

I also do minor fix it around the office. Ever since I started working for the 2 companies, I've learned to change door locks, fix some of the equipments, install a door, wallpaper, paint...etc and that is how I have the Janitor & Fix-it gal title as well.....

Anyways, I have this little plaque (pictured above) that I hang by my desk. I feel that sometimes, coz I do take pretty good care of everyone at work, that they forgot my main job is Financial Controller and not everyone's maid. It is just a way for me to remind them that there are certain things that they can take care of themselves and not wait for me to do it for them.

All in all, I do love my job and I do like my co-workers and bosses. I just hope that they appreciate all the things that I do for them.....A little "thanks" sometimes means a lot more than money....to me at least....don't know about the rest of you out there.....

13 year ago...

13 years ago today was Jim & my first date. I cannot imagine that it has been that long..how time fly!!! It was a late Friday afternoon when Jim picked me up at my apartment and we went to see "Four Weddings & a Funeral" (Hugh Grant & Andie McDowell). After the movie, we went to McDonald's which was in the same parking lot as the movie theater. What can I say...Carbondale is such a small town that McD's was one of those that stayed open late besides Denny's (which was on the other side of town)...

I was so nervous I almost cancelled the date. I've never really gone on a date with a "Mat Salleh" before so I wasn't reallly sure what to expect...Will he like me? What to wear? What am I going to talk about? etc....I guess I didn't have to worry much coz we were at McD's for hours....They even had to kick us out coz it was closing time!!! I guess when you have things in common, the conversation is not an issue...

The picture to the right was taken about 2 months after our first date. That was our first picture together and I actually keep it in my wallet (more to remind myself that I was a lot thinner than then I am now...waaaaa). My roommate at the time had graduated and moved back to Malaysia so Jim helped me move from the 2 bedroom apartment I shared with my roommate to the studio apartment upstairs. I think my friend, Nida, took that picture.... p/s Jim really didn't like that hair cut...too short for him...Like most men, he loves long hair.

Anyways, today on our "first date" anniversary, we will watch "Four Weddings & a Funeral". It has become kinda of a tradition for Jim & myself, though we do not go to McD's afterwards...he he he. Every year we would watch the movie on our anniversary.

I guess I'll cook something special tonight...not sure what yet. Jim really loves pizza so maybe I'll make some tonight. I do have to say that I make pretty damn good pizza!!!

Well, I guess it's time for me to go downstairs and watch the movie....Here's to many more years together honey....I love you very much!!!

Easter

Yesterday, Sunday, April 8, was Easter. Jim & I went over to his parents for lunch and hung out with them as well as Jim's sister & her family. They had food from the store "Honey Baked Ham". Of course, they had turkey for me he he he. Jim's family had always been very good about making sure that they have non pork product for Jim & myself and I truly appreciate that. I didn't feel like making anything so I made mixed fruit salad for dessert.

This picture of Karsen and the Easter Bunny was taken a few days ago at the mall (I think). When we first got to my in laws, she was a little hesitatant to come to us since we haven't seen her since Jim's birthday in Februay. After I did my "wiggly worm" finger to her nose she was back to her friendly self again. Boy, she really loves getting her picture taken. Whenever she sees a camera, she will start smiling and actually chase after whomever that have the camera to take her picture. We got her a fiber optic bunny carrot house as an Easter gift. It's this big carrot house with a couple of bunnies and the fiber optic lights up...

I basically played with Karsen while we watch the movie "Goodfellas". I really do like that movie. "The Godfather" trilogy is my favorite of the "mafia" movies and "Goodfellas" comes in a close second.

Anyways, Karsen will be here at about 9:00 am today. Jim & I are babysitting since Chris & mom have something to do. I am taking her to Lee Lee's (my favorite Asian grocery store) after I drop Jim off at his doctor's appointment later.....

Well, I better go take my shower and make myself pretty......he he he

Adios for now....

My little villages

My "100 Acre Wood" (Pooh village) collection


100 Acre Woods again



My late Mom's Dutch house collection


Top shelf: Winter village
Bottom shelf: Fall (Autumn) village



Halloween villages


Top shelf: Winter water fountain
Bottom shelf: Halloween village


Easter Village



Winter village

Friday..Again

Here we go again....It's Friday afternoon and I am all by my lonesome self again working away at the office. I take that back....everyone at the dental practice side are gone but there are a few guys left on the dental software side so technically I am not all that alone...

This Sunday is Easter. I personally don't really care about it but since my in laws are Catholics Jim & I are going over to their house for lunch and some family time. My little niece, Karsen, will probably love Easter since she'll get to do the egg hunting stuff and get gifts. I haven't Karsen since February for Jim's birthday, I bet she's grown quite a bit....Chris said that she loves to run around now that she's getting use to walking....

Jim & I are not planning on doing much this weekend since Jim is still not feeling well. Aside from lunch with the in laws on Sunday, we will most likely stay home and watch movies and play with our 2 boys....I will probably be on the computer a lot playing my "City Life" game...I'm hooked to that game now....

Man, it's only 4:10pm....another 50 minutes before I can get loose. Hemm, maybe I'll leave at 4:30, just enough time for me to tidy up my messy desk and make sure everything on the dental practice side are locked up and shut off....

Okay, catch ya later....adios

"Shut Up & Sing" - posted Apr 5, '07 on myspace

Over the weekend Jim & I rented the documentary "Shut Up & Sing" about the country group Dixie Chicks. The documentary was filmed between 2003 - 2006. At first the group had planned the documentary to be about their world tour. Well, at the start of their tour in 2003 at Shepard's Bush Stadium in London, their lead singer, Natalie Maines had said to the crowd, "We are ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas". The crowd loved it since it was just before the US invade Iraq and obviously the group is against the war.

Anyways, the US media got wind of what she said and there were backlash to the group. A lot of the conservative Republicans were upset by what she said. Since a lot of country group fans are from the south and the south are mostly Republicans (why? I have no idea), the group saw their song and cd sales go down. Most, if not all, country radio stations refused to play their songs and a lot of their fans either burn or destroyed their cds. The band was branded as a traitor and non patriotic and the members even received death threats.

What I really like about the documentary is that how the band dealt with the backlash. How they stuck together and soldier on with what they think is right. It is their right to express their opinion. Even with all the bad press and their songs not being played on country radios, they still had a top selling cd last year.

My favorite part of the documentary is when a reporter asked George Bush what he thinks about the Dixie Chicks, he said that they are entitle to their opinion but they shouldn't get their feelings hurt when their fans criticize them. They showed that interview with George Bush during one of the Dixie Chicks concert (in their dressing room) and Natalie turned to the camera and said, "He's a dumb fuck!!". I almost choked myself with laughter when I heard her said that coz obviously I agree with her. *A little side bar here....for those of you who loves the show "Heroes", Natalie is married to Adrian Pasdar who plays Nathan Petrelli (the one who can fly) on that show.....

Anyways, I thought the documentary was really good. I didn't think that I would like it very much when Jim rented it since I don't like country music too much (neither does Jim). I also like the song they wrote about the "incident" called "Not Ready to Play Nice". It reminds me a little of my relationship with someone.....

"The Departed" & "Stranger Than Fiction" - posted Mar 6, '07 on myspace

Have you seen "The Departed" or "Stranger Than Fiction"? Well, I saw both movies over the weekend while I was trying to get over my cold...

"The Departed" was really good. A tad long but the Oscar win for Best Picture is so worth it tho I do think that "Little Miss Sunshine" should win too...

This movie was actually based on a Hong Kong movie called "The Internal" (I think that's what it was called) about these 2 cops. One is a mole for the police and the other was a mole for the mob. They played a cat and mouse game trying to figure out who the mole was. Leo DiCaprio (the good cop) and Matt Damon (the bad one) were both good in their role tho I think Leo is better. Jack Nicholson was the head mobster and as always, he is awesome. There were a few famous actors in the movie...Mark Wahlberg, Alex Baldwin, Martin Sheen. I thought that Leo and Jack should have gotten an Oscar nomination. I knew Leo is a good actor ever since I saw him in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?". He was nominated for that movie and he was so young then...(not that he's old now..he he he).

"Stranger Than Fiction" was a movie about a guy who was living his normal life until one day he started to hear this voice narrating his life story. Will Ferrell played the guy and Emma Thompson was the author/narrator. Dustin Hoffman played this literature professor who is trying to help him figure out if he's getting crazy or is a character in a book that Emma Thompson is writting about. Queen Latifah and Maggie Gyllenhaal had bit parts in the movie too.

Anyways, both movies were good...Watch it if you can...

P/S If you have a chance, rent "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" too. Johnny Depp and Juliet Lewis was in that movie too.

"Macam Mana?" - posted Mar 6, '07 on myspace

Demam...tak habis2 demam....I am so freakin tired of this demam....

Pening kepala dibuatnya...asyik nak baring je...kalu bangun, berpinar2 kepala dibuatnya tapi bila baring, boring pulak. Pusing kiri, pusing kanan, terlentang, terbalik, bertonggek...semua tak kena. Tapi bila bangun, berpusing2 bilik pulak...so, macam mana?

Nak bernafas pun jenuh...Hidung tersumbat...berhingus tak habis2...Kotak kleenex kat tepi kepala dah nak habis...lepas tu nak kesat kat mana??...Nak bangun ambik kotak baru... pening pulak...so macam mana?

Lapar tapi tak dek selera...rasa macam nak auik je. Kalu tak makan kang sugar level pulak turun. Nak makan kena pulak bangun ke dapur...tapi kepala pening...so macam mana?

Anak2 kucing kat atas katil. Mengiau2 sebab lapar...Nak panjat tangga ke atas bagi depa makan...pening pulak. So, macam mana?

Kesian tengok muka depa...Siap massage kaki kita, pujuk suruh bagi makan. Last2 bangun jugak...kepala pinar2 pun panjat tangga pi bagi depa makan. Sayangkan anak kucing...demam, selsema, pening kepala pun masih bangun bagi depa makan...tapi diri sendiri macam mana?

"Akeelah & the Bee" - posted Feb 19, '07 on myspace

Last night Jim & I watched a movie called "Akeelah and the Bee". To tell you the truth, when Jim brought the movie home, I was not too keen on watching it. I thought it would be a boring movie...Boy, was I wrong.

The movie is about an 11 year old girl from a poor section of Los Angeles trying to win the Scripps National Spelling Bee in Washington DC. The little girl (don't know what her real name is) was very good. Angela Bassett ("How Stella Got her grove back") played her single mother and Laurance Fishburn ("Matrix") was her mentor.

It is amazing how she overcome all the obstacles. It shows that if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything. I would recommend this movie...it made me cry....

"Sherrybaby" - post Feb 13, '07 on myspace

Over the weekend, Jim & I rented a movie called "Sherrybaby". It's an independent movie starring Maggie Gyllenhall as Sherry Swanson. It is a story about how she tried to get her life back together after being in jail for stealing to feed her drug habits.

The movie is pretty good...a sad story. At the beginning I kinda didn't like her character coz she kept screwing up. Later on, it showed why she ended up being the way she is and it made me feel sorry for her. Maggie Gyllenhall (older sister to Jake Gyllenhall...) is very good in it. She made me forget that she's acting and think that it is Sherry whom I am watching.

Anyways, if you guys get a chance to watch this movie, get it...I do recommend watching it.

"As I Mature" - posted Feb 13, '07 on myspace

As I Mature

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

Pass this wisdom along to your friends...trust me, they'll appreciate it. Who knows, maybe something good will happen.

If not...tough shit

"Dream(s)" - posted Feb 12, '07 on myspace

I always wonder if dreams have any meaning. I tend to dream about the same thing most of the time. I usually dream about people I know/knew, tho I do sometimes get those weird ones too.
I dreamt that I lose my teeth a few times. I kept spitting out tooth after tooth but more kept getting loose. Someone told me that it means good fortune is coming your way. Not sure if that is true or not...

The last few days tho...I have been feeling a little nostalgic...and my dreams apparently reflects that...I dreamt about a couple of male friends I was pretty close to when I was in high school and college. Not sexual dream, mind you...just us hanging out together catching up on old times, just like we used to do while we were in school. The funny part is, both guys were on the volleyball teams just like I was in high school and college. These 2 dreams prompted me to look up where they are now since we haven't talk for a while...

I dreamt about my mom a few times too...The last time was about 2 nights ago. In the dream, we went to the pasar malam (night market) and bought food. Then when I woke up, my tummy was growling and I was craving those food in my dream.

Oh well, guess I'll go to bed (it's past my bedtime now) and see what kind of dream I'll have tonight...he he he

"30 Things Stressed Women May Say at Work" - posted Feb 1, 2007 on myspace

Someone forwarded this to me and I think it's accurate for most part....

30 Things Stressed Women May Say at Work

1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. Well, today was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with flourescent light.
8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm isn just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't got to sleep yet!
16. Back off!!! You're standing in my aura.
17. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.
18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic and disorder...my work here is done.
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
23. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
24. Earth is full. Go home.
25. Aww, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. Is assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
30. Look in my eyes...Do you see one ounce of gives-a-shit?

"21st Century" - posted Jan 26, 2007 on myspace

Our communication - Wireless
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labor - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our follies - Countless
Our arguements - Baseless
Our boss - Brainless
Our job - Thankless
Our salary - VERY LESS!!!

"Sammy & Tiger" - posted Jan 11, 2007 on myspace

Can I just tell you how much I love my two boys, Sammy & Tiger? Jim & I got them from the animal shelter...Sammy when he was 2 in September 2003 and Tiger when he was 6 weeks old in June 2005. Sammy will be 6 on April 12 and Tiger 2 on May 1. Since we got Tiger when he was younger, he looks up to Sammy and wants to do everything that Sammy does.

They both have different personalities. Sammy is shy and very cautious whereas Tiger is the joker in the family. Sammy usually will hesitate before he does anything, but Tiger would jump at any distraction tho he gets scared but that doesn't stop him from getting into trouble. Sammy is very vocal, he has different sounds that he makes. He would announce himself whenever he enters a room as if saying, "Hey world here I am." Tiger is a little quieter tho he is starting to speak more and more. He gets especially loud when he wants his food. I guess when you are hungry, you want your mummy to feed you, right....he he he.

I could not begin to tell you how much I love those 2 guys. Since Jim & I do not have kids of our own (not from lack of trying, I can tell you that...), we think of them as our sons.
I love it when I get home from a long day at work, they will be waiting for me at the door. As soon as they see my head pop up from behind our wooden gate, they would jump up and meowed excitedly. Tiger would be on his hind legs, front paws stretched up against the glass door and Sammy will be scratching against the door wanting me to pat him.
As soon as I get into the house, they will be circling around my legs wanting to get picked up and made over with. They will not quit until I pick each of them up and give them a pat and a kiss...Ahhh, it's so nice to know that someone wants your attention.

At night, after Jim leaves for work, we would snuggle together on the bed or futon. Sammy will be by my side and I would hug him close while Tiger will either be by my head or legs, depending on his mood that night. There we would lay till morning when they would wake me up so that I can give them their breakfast. If I am late waking up, Sammy will try to ring my old fashion alarm clock. He would stick his nose on the bell and move it side to side so that it would ring. Of course, all Tiger had to do to wake me up is lick my face...he he he.

Both Jim & I are so attached to them that whenever we go somewhere, we could't wait to get home so that we can see their cute adorable faces. When both Jim & I are at home, Sammy likes to lay between us while we watch Tiger do his comedic act.

Oh well, insya allah, maybe one day we will have kids of our own but we would never neglect our 2 sons. We will love them just like they have loved us....

I am now off to go home to my 3 boys.....(Jim, Sammy & Tiger..)

"Little Miss Sunshine" - posted Dec 27, 2006 on myspace

We were at my sister-in-law's, Chris, on Christmas day when we rented this movie, Little Miss Sunshine. I have to say that this is one of the funniest movies that I have ever watched. I could not stop laughing throughout the movie which hardly ever happens .

Everyone in the movie is great especially the little girl, who plays the main character Olive. I can't remember her real name right now. Toni Collette (Sixth Sense), Greg Kinnear (Stuck on You) and Steve Carrell (40 Year Old Virgin, Bruce Almighty) played her mom, dad and uncle respectively.....They were great in it.

Well, I don't want to give away the plot but if you have a chance to rent the movie, get it...it is worth your money.

"Meaning of Success" - posted Dec 27, 2006 on myspace

What is the meaning of success? It has a different definition for everyone but I guess the common meaning is that you have a great job (that pays lots of money), nice house (a mini mansion, at least), nice car (BMW at least, HUMMER or Corvette even better, or at least have a chauffer), spouse(s) or much better mistresses....

The reason I ask this is that early this morning while I was at work, someone IMed me asking why I am so far away from my home country. I hardly know this person, just someone whom I've just started chatting with on Yahoo. I told him that I came here to further my studies and while I was doing that, I met my hubby and that is why I am now living and working here.
Then, out of the blue he asked, "How does it feel now that you are successful?" So, I asked him what does he mean by that and he said that I am successful coz I live overseas, have a great job (he thinks it's great since my title is Financial Controller), have a college education, have influential/famous friends (which I am not sure where he got that idea from), as well as being married to a "Mat Salleh".

Anyways, I was little taken aback with what he said coz to me that is not the indication of being successful. Living overseas is not successful...I chose to marry an American and that is why I live here, nothing successful about that.

Having influential or famouse friends is also not a success. I am also not sure why he thinks I have influential friends . Having good friends is always great but I wouldn't measure it as a success... it is more of you knowing which friends to keep and which are better off known as "acquaintances".

Having a good job and college education? I don't know if that is a success but I am proud that I finish college and have a job (tho doesn't pay very much but I like what I do) that put a roof over my head and food on the table.

Married to "Mat Salleh"? Why is that a success? Nothing special about being married to a Mat Salleh. Still have to go thru the same stuff if I were married to Melayu. A success in marriage would be finding a spouse who really loves and cares about you. Who would be there by your side thru the good and bad regardless of his/her ethnicity. In this case, I do see myself as successful

I don't really have an answer to what success means so I am going to throw this question out to the universe... So, what do you guys think SUCCESS means?

"Birthday(s)" - posted Dec 12, 2006 on myspace

Today, December 10, 2006 would have been my mom's 60th birthday. If we were in Malaysia, we would have had a big bash and all of her close family and friends would be invited to celebrate her birthday. Alas, she passed away 3 years ago on August 10, 2003 at the young age of 56 from breast cancer .

Before she passed away, December 10 would mark the beginning of the birthday "season" in my family. You see, from December - February someone is celebrating their birthdays. We have birthdays up the wazoo he he he . Some of my family have passed away but we (myself at least) still celebrate their birthday(s).

My little niece, Karsen, just celebrated her first birthday on November 28. My other nephew, Apan's (real name: Raja Muhammad Irfan Arif Shah bin Raja Lyon Ariff - looonnnngggg name huh) birthday is also in November so now my birthday season extends from November - February. Actually, it would have been October - February if I include my 2 cousins, Asrolf and Ali, whose birthdays are on October 17 & 18, respectively. Anyways, here are the birthdays with some special occassions thrown in:

Oct 17 - Asrolf's (cousin) birthday
Oct 18 - Ali's (cousin) birthday
Nov 18 - Apan's (nephew) birthday
Nov 28 - Karsen's (niece) birthday
Nov 29 - Jim & my wedding anniversary (our 10th this year)
Dec 10 - Mummy's birthday (deceased - '03)
Dec 25 - Azli's (cousin) birthday
Dec 26 - Syazleen's (sister) birthday
Dec 27 - Mummy & Daddy's wedding anniversary (would have been their 37th)
Jan 4 - Diana's (my "adopted" sister) birthday
Jan 13 - Wan Ma's (aunt/godmother) birthday (deceased '99)
Jan 14 - my brithday
Jan 20 - Chris' (Jim's sister/ Karsen's mom) birthday
Jan 29 - Dad's birthday
Feb 1 - Jim's birthday
Feb 5 - Grandma Antoinnetts's birthday (deceased '02)
Feb 7 - Wan Nyah's (my aunt) birthday
Feb 8 - Lyon's (my brother) birthday
Feb 23(?) - Frank's (Chris' hubby/Karsen's dad) birthday (sorry Frank, I know it's late Feb but am not sure of the date)
Feb 28 - Lyon & Syarah's wedding anniversary

So, as you can see, if you add Aidil Fitri (Eid Mubarak), Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year & Valentine into the mix...it is one humongous celebration for me. ..

Anyways, the picture above was taken on my mom's last birthday in 2002. Jim & I surprised her by going back to Malaysia. It was a big secret among the family that she didn't know we were going back until my sister Deen took us home from the airport...he he he. Mummy, I love and miss you very very very much!!!!

"Why?" - posted Dec 7, 2006 on myspace

I've always wondered why people do or say certain things....

- Why do people think it's okay to leave a mess in the office kitchen but would throw a fit if it was their house?

- Why is it okay to be mean/spiteful etc to our own family but not to strangers?

- Why is it okay to ask personal things to strangers when chatting online but not when it's in person?

- Why do people give advise when they don't follow it themselves?

- Why is it okay for a husband to relax after he got home from work, but the wife have to clean up, cook, etc when she gets home from work?

- Why is a man called a "stud" when he has several girlfriends but a woman is called a "slut" when she has several boyfriends?

- Why do the bride have to take her husband's name after getting married?

- Why do priest/pastor/imam/politician etc "condemn" people who did wrong, but when they are the ones who did wrong, we are suppose to forgive & forget?

- Why is it when a man speaks his mind, he's intelligent but when a woman does, she's a bitch?

- Why is a successful man who was never married is considered an eligible bachelor but a successful woman is a spinster?

There are so many more "Whys" but I'm getting tired to typing...so there!!

"Family Tooth Doctor Christmas Party 2006" - posted Dec 6, 2006 on myspace

Here is a photo taken during our Christmas Party on December 2, 2006
From left: David (co-owner), Abri (Dental Assistant), Dr. Stapley (co-owner), Linda (Hygenist), yours truly (Financial Controller), Cynthia (Dental Assistant), Dr. King (co-owner), Aubree (Hygenist), Valerie (Front Office) & Melissa (Front Office).

"Hypocrites" - posted Dec 5, 2006 on myspace

I have been keeping this inside for the past few years or so, especially after a "conversation" I had with someone close to me last year (if you can call it a conversation - he spoke and I couldn't get anything in edgewise). It's been bothering me a lot. I try to forgive and forget but it still bugs me that I would get angry just thinking about it. I had thought about writing to this person but after knowing this person my whole life, there is nothing I could say or do that would change his opinion about me or the way I live my life.

So, since I can't really "tell" this person how/what I feel, I figured I'd write it down here and let it off my chest coz everytime I think about this person or remember what he had said to me, I just get angier and angier.

I feel/think that he is a hypocrite. In all of my 35 years, I've only lived with this person for all of 9 years, from ages of 5 - 12 and 18 - 19. The rest of the time, you ask? Baby - 5 (with my grandparents), 13 - 18 (boarding school), 19 - 20 (community college) & 20 - present (on my own in America). He doesn't know much about how I live my life except for what he may/may not heard from other people and what he formulated in his own mind. I could hardly tell him anything coz whatever I do is never good enough (to his mighty high standards, anyways) and he usually already has his mind made up about me that it's not worth my time or effort to change his mind.

He has this high and mighty opinion about himself that he knows everything and his words are holier than thou and whatever other people think is worth shit. Please don't get me wrong, I am more than grateful for all the things he had provided and done for me. I am truly thankful for all the experience that I went thru coz without it, I won't be the person I am now. I just feel that he needs to learn to humble himself and listen to what other people's feelings and/or opinions no matter if the person is older or younger than him, because everyone is entitle to their own opinion!!!!

So what that I live in America and am married to a "Mat Salleh". Just because I live here doesn't mean I am influenced by the western culture. That because I am far away from my family, I would do things that I wouldn't do if I live near them. So what if I don't pakai tudung and don't cover my aurat most of the time. As a human being, that is my prerogative. I don't drink, smoke, gamble, do drugs or eat babi. I try my best not to hurt anyone's feelings especially those who are close and dear to me (I bite my tongue most of the time coz I don't like confrontations). I definitely didn't/wouldn't cheat on my spouse and find a "replacement" especially when she is sick and dying of cancer. Even my "Mat Salleh" husband knows that that is a horrible thing to do to someone especially to the person who had been with you thru the good and the bad and took care of you when you are ill. I am living my life the way I see fit, the good and the bad. I don't answer to YOU. Whatever I do or don't, it's between me and Allah. If whatever I do is not according to Allah's way, then I will answer to Allah. You are advising me, you said? Well, advises, like opinions, are subjective. I will take your advise as I see fit and don't get into a hissy fit if I don't follow it. You should look at your own life first and maybe take your own advise first before handing it out to other people.

Well enough said...I am starting to ramble. I just leave this the way it is. Take it any which way you want. I just need to get it off my chest and not have to think about it anymore.

To all of you hypocrites out there...You can go FUCK yourselves!!!!

"10th Anniversary" - posted Nov 30, 2006 on myspace

Yesterday, November 29th, 2006 Jim & I hit that milestone, our 10th wedding anniversary . Wow, I can't believe that we have been married for that long. It felt like it was just yesterday that we met at college and that was almost 13 years ago!!!

So, what did we do yesterday to celebrate you ask? Nothing! We both had to work and since Jim work nights and I work days, it's kinda hard to do anything especially during the week. Though, we did do our traditional "hide/seek greeting cards". I put his in front of our downstairs tv and he hid mine under my heart pillow (my bantal busuk, he he he). Sammy was so curious about my card last night that he took a bite out of it. I sure hope it's tasty .

Since we didn't have time yesterday, we will also do our annual watching of our engagement and wedding reception video this weekend. I know, I know, it is a little cheesy but I love watching those videos. It reminds us of why we got married in the first place. And, I am able to "see" my mom and aunt who are no longer here as well as my family whom I miss very much.

What did we get for each other as gifts? I got Jim a Cubs leather jacket. He looks pretty smart in it . Jim got me a 3 stone diamond ring which stands for "Past, Present & Future". We had my sister, Deen, custom made it in KL. I really love the ring though I had hoped that the stone would be a little bigger, but that is what the jeweller able to make with the budget that we have. I don't mind it at all...the ring and jacket are just material things. What is important to me is that the man I married 10 years ago still loves me very much. I couldn't ask for anything more than that.

Honey, if you read this.....I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND FOR ETERNITY!!

"Here We Are Again (Thanksgiving)" - posted Nov 22, 2006 on myspace

Here we are again....that time of the year. I can't believe it has been about a year since I last wrote anything in this blog.

Believe me when I say that I attempted so many times but alas, it always end up stuck in my head or in the trash can.

Tomorrow, Nov 23rd is Thanksgiving (again). Unlike last year, we will be at my sister in law's like we usually do in previous years (except for last year la). The traditional Thanksgiving feast will commence at about 2pm, starting with everyone unbuckling their belt....he he he....Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, candied sweet potatoes, greenbeans & onions, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie...my mouth is watering just thinking about it.

This will also be Karsen's (my little niece) first Thanksgiving...She will be 1 year old next week. Though I know she most likely won't remember tomorrow, I am sure there will be lots of picture of her.

Anyways, what am I thankful for this year? There are so many things I am thankful for....first and foremost, for being alive and somewhat healthy. Next, I am most thankful for having Jim in my life, who cares and love me very much especially during times when I don't love myself too much. Of course, I am very thankful to have family and friends who cares about me, some more than others...My 2 "sons" whom would wait for me by the door when I come home from work, follow me all over the house, sleep with me and keep me company while their daddy is at work and just generally happy to be with me (maybe coz I feed and clean up their poop...har har har)

What do I wish for? Happiness, peace of mind...that everything will be okay....

Well, to those of you out there, Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

"Friday" - posted June 16, 2006 on myspace

Well, it's Friday, 6:19pm Arizona time...I am still at work....No no no...I'm not working and am off the clock...just still at work. Doing nothing much, just chatting with my aunt and catching up on my emails...

Well, someone I really love recently told me that I lack confidence and need to think more positively. I was a little taken aback...I kept thinking about it and realized that that is one of my weaknesses...CONFIDENCE! I always strive to do my best but on the back of my mind somehow I would think, why even bother coz I would fail anyways....I guess I do not want to be disappointed or disappoint someone else so I would set a low standard for myself that if I do fail, then it's no big deal. But it is a big deal...to me anyways....

I have been thinking about this a lot and came to the conclusion that there is nothing that I can do about certain things sometimes and it is ok....

Well, we'll see how it goes....